The Journey Ahead

It is crazy how much your choices now affect your future. Even if we wish or think we will change, the probability is pretty slim. So I have been trying to settle some good habits that hopefully I'll still have in years to come. Senior year is coming up and senior summer is here so my life on my own is not far off! Scary, exciting, and time to settle a couple of things before I go.
Well to tell you the truth I have been planning and preparing for this moment for a long time. It was always middle school, high school, college, job, marriage, kids, etc. I always had this general plan that I tried to keep as a map forward. I have already tried to get some good habits established into me so that when I do move onto my future, I will be ready.
The most recent addition of preparing myself is having a budget for food. I asked my parents if I could have a weekly allowance to buy my own food so that I could establish a couple things. Learn how to budget the money wisely. Learn how to make some pretty awesome, cheap, and healthy meals so I won't gain the freshman 15 or whatever. Learn how to budget meal plans to where I don't have wasted or unused food in the fridge. Well they agreed and I have been trying to budget myself with 10 dollars a week since I'll probably own the food basics already. I know it kind of sounds crazy, but I love doing this kind of stuff.
Also I have tried to establish self- discipline and self- sufficient attributes. I try to keep my room clean and do homework right when I get home so I don't procrastinate. I have tried to learn what it is like to earn your own money and save some money. I blame my parents for all of this. My dad is very stingy, but good with money and has taught me to understand the value of a dollar.
I remember when I was younger, like in 5th grade to 9th, I would get a monthly allowance of 20 dollars. I would have to buy all of my stuff too. For those years I would buy my own school clothes and budget throughout the year how many extra chores and jobs I would need to do in order to have around $250 for school clothes. I was a pretty crazy kid. Then I realized I could just be saving that money for college and since my parents are willing, they can buy my clothes. But boy did I learn to be a smart shopper and buy clothes with the best deals.
Why am I telling you this? I'm just letting you know that I have tried to prepare myself my whole life for the moment when I'm out on my own. But there are still a couple of things that Senior year will have to provide in order for me to be absolutely ready.
For example, I still am a little on the undecided of actually what I want to major in and what I want to do with my life. The one I like the best right now is being a teacher. Even when I was little, one of my favorite games to play was school. I would make my two older sisters my pupils and I would give them math, spelling, and reading lessons. I even went so far as to create my own library so they could check out books. But this senior year I want to find out if that is what I really want to be.
Also I hope I'll be able to get into the college of my choice and receive a couple of scholarships. It isn't always about the place you go, but your attitude, but it doesn't hurt to go to a place you want to go. Money is the driving force to pushing me forward and I'll need something to pay all those bills with.
I also envision my senior year being the year to maintain a strong healthy relationship with my family. Family is all you got when everything else is gone. I think to help me succeed in life I need to have that peace that my family is supporting me and we are on good terms. They are the ones I can turn to when things aren't going well or when I just need someone to talk to when I'm lonely.
In reality I feel senior year is just a year to prepare for the next chapter in your life which will prepare you for the next chapter and so on and so forth, but I feel if I choose to focus on how senior year will prepare me for my complete future than I loose sight of some of the important details in life. That is why I chose to focus more on my immediate future rather than my whole life. Just remember, senior year is a huge bridge you are crossing, but it is only the entrance to the unknown journey ahead.

Change your thoughts and you change your world

Every year, I seem to go to Idaho with my family to go visit my grandparents and go camping. It is one of my favorite trips. Every since I was little we would go up there. My grandparent’s house is a whole nother story and has character all to itself. It is pinkish red with green trimings and inside brings you back to the 70's. They have a basement that could scare any little kid and spark any teenagers sense of adventure. It had tons of jars of canned foods that looked like eyes and toes and other things that you would see in a crazy scientist lab. It also had tons of olds clothes that used to be my grandmas and some num chucks and a couple of other amazing things until my sister secretly took them away. Their house always seemed to be so different and foreigned to me, but homey.
Grandma would always give us kids a dollar and say, “Here kid, go buy yourself something nice.” At first we took it quite gratefully, but as we got older we felt guilty for taking it as we learned it wouldn't ever buy us anything nice. We sooned realized, though, that the love and price it took to give us those few dollars was priceless. I learned that the people here were carefree and loving and showed their love in various ways.
Another thing I learned was to appreciate life. When we were younger, Landon and I would walk, ride, or run to the nearby park. It was a nice, green, plush little park filled with see saws, huge slides and tons of trees. I would daresay, it was one of my favorite places to be when I was younger. I loved it there. There was also a water fall and huge body of water nearby. I remember one time being with my dad sitting on a ledge looking over the water. He told me of a story of one of his friends who died from getting into the water and falling down the water fall. They found his body a couple days after he died. I remember I was scared to get into the water because of that and quickly got off that ledge. Who knew that such a life sustaining thing as water could be so deadly?
After a couple of days at grandma and grandpa’s house we would take their trailer up into the mountains. Camping and fishing was the second thing we did in Idaho. We would be near the small town of Kilgore. It was hardly inhabited and had quite a character of people. We always passed a farmer with the sign posted, “Only kind of good wolf is a dead wolf”. We would also pass the Kilgore Store where they sold small candies for a penny and the well known monkey bars and honey butter! (I loved honey butter and fry sauce which California doesn’t sell.) We would always camp in the same spot when it was open. There would be a huge field of flowers in front of us and if you looked closer a small stream.
I remember when I was younger that fishing was not fun for me in that stream. I loved the catching of the fish, but when I saw it on the hook I would begin to cry. “Daddy let him go. Let him live! Will he be ok?” Hearing the concern in my tone, dad would take the hook out of its mouth and let it back into the water. Sometimes they would swim on their way, but I remember most of all one lazily swimming and then just going along with the current floating on top of the water. It broke my heart. I got better and better at handling the death of the fish. I could gradually watch my dad hit the fishes head on the rock, and then I could tear the worms in half, and then I could watch him clean the fish and show me the heart.
It gradually came as I got older and older. It was like my senses each year were becoming duller and duller and I came to realize I was changing. I wasn't the same little girl. I was used to living in an atmosphere that would change with me and in Idaho it was different. Instead of holding tight onto daddy's shirt, he was holding tight onto me from running off. Instead of singing and running in the meadow of flowers, I was now slowly walking picking a flower here and there. In the unchanging enviroment I realized I was different each time.
That is the thing I realize most whenever I go back. Everything seems the same there. Grandma still has the same magnet on the fridge in the same spot. The bag of books on her floor are still there, but I'm different. Instead of worrying about grandma giving me a kiss, I'm worrying about college and money, but change is good. And every year I seem to learn that again. Change is wonderful.

Don't be blinded

So I decided to read Elizabeth's review on The Blind Side, a movie. There is something that didn't rub well when I read it. It was her main reason on why you should watch the movie. I quote, "Last but not least, actually, this could very well be the main reason to watch the film: the little boy, Sean Tuohy, actor Jae Head. Oh wow, did this kid have character. I laughed at just about every scene he was in. This little kid had absolute perfect comedic timing. His character was well written and he delivered every line flawlessly and hilariously."

I disagree that he should be the main reason you watch this movie. If that is the main reason then you are missing the whole point. The movie isn't purely to get a laugh out of you and analyze Sean's character. This movie is so much more. If you are going to use your time to watch this movie then you need to get something more out of it, not because it is necessary for this movie, but because this movie offers so much more.

It is every one's dream to be found and given a way of life that leads to success. We all want the big break and dough to come rushing in. In a way we all want to be like Sandra Bullock the one making the difference because life is already where we want to be, but at first we must be Big Mike where he is lost, searching and trying to find himself or somewhere he can be found. Most of all this movie shows how important it is to have family. No matter how much we fight with them or don't get agree with them, they do a lot for us. Parents pay for your food, gas, clothes, diapers, must I go on? Siblings help you get away with sneaking out and give you company when you are bored. Family gets us places.

In closing Elizabeth needs to realize that Sean is not the main reason to see this movie. Even though Sean is a hilarious charter, he is not the one we should be mainly focusing on. He is a character that adds, but doesn't create. He is one that helps us get places, but isn't the one driving. So when you go to see this movie, please do not with the intent that Elizabeth recommended. Go because this movie is a reflection of ourselves in each character or a reflection of what we all wish to be.

Emerson The American Scholar

I remember at the beginning of the year experiencing the creators of Transcendentalism. I would walk out of class and think, "Life is good! Today I can do anything. Today I can experience life. Today I can see the world. Today I can be me." Learning about transcendentalism made me happy and made me more optimistic about life. I liked that. The one author I liked the most was Emerson and the piece of literature was The American Scholar.
He talked about trusting yourself and not letting your mind be swayed by others opinions. "In the degenerate state, when the victim of society, he tends to become a mere thinker, or, still worse, the parrot of other men's thinking." (Emerson, 526) I liked imagining myself a free thinker without being persuaded by anyone. It gave me a sense of finding my true self and molding me into something I would agree with and find beautiful.
He talked about experiencing things to learn and know all aspects of life. "Drudgery, calamity, exasperation, want, are instructors in eloquence and wisdom." (Emerson, 530) This is where I realized I wanted to know life. I wanted to travel and see the world. I wanted to open my mind and experience life. It gave me more hope that even though life isn't always dandy and good, I can still learn and gain something from the bad times.
It is about seizing the day and every moment and being one with yourself and Nature. It is about being free and not fear. “Free should the scholar be,-free and brave. Free even to the definition of freedom, “without any hindrance that does not arise out of his own constitution.” Brave; for fear is a thing which a scholar by his very function puts behind him. Fear always springs from ignorance.” (Emerson, 533) I realized I can't live my life in fear. I can't live it with thinking things are too hard. I wanted to be free.
Emerson was my favorite reading this year. His work is substantial and full of meaning. His work is about the individual as Transcendentalism seemed to be. It is about knowing all of you and the world around. It is about being a whole being and knowing thyself. He doesn't want you to be disabled, but free to see, do, and be all and that seems to be good with me.

If I Find Something Worth Fighting For

So I was trying to think about what I'm passionate about. Something I would fight for! Something that seems to dig into my soul and says, "I feel..." But to tell you the truth, I have been thinking about this for months now. I'm not kidding you either. MONTHS. I have been trying to find something that seems to be getting farther and farther away. As Coldplay says, "I'm gonna buy a gun and start a war. If you can tell me something worth fighting for." -Rush of Blood to the Head.
I feel stuck when it comes to something I feel worth fighting for. Animals are great and yeah there is animal cruelty, but hey humans are great and there is human cruelty. I would rather fight for the human life. Volunteer work is great, but it doesn't move me. War is cruel, but sometimes necessary. I think our school could use some work all around, but I'm not about to go fight for that just so it can be torn down again. If you think I'm going to finally come up with something I'm passionate about, your wrong. I have been searching for months and haven't found it, I'm not about to find it in the 5 days Patino gave us, but I won't leave you completely hungry.
There are somethings that I guess you could say I'm all for or all not for. I'll expound on one. Number 1 being Summer Assignments. I don't get them one bit. People have told me my whole high school life that these are necessary to get ahead to make sure we are up to the work, to make sure we are smart enough, to weed out the weak ones. But hey! I'm a kid, a teenager! My young life where summers are job free and friend full are limited and you are stuffing me with work? They say, It will prepare you for college. I'm pretty sure college kids don't have summer assignments!
Freshman summer: Teacher says, "10 books. You must read these ten books before the end of summer. We will be doing a lot with them when you get back for school. Huge test the first day of school. Make sure you are prepared! If you don't have them finished you will be kicked out of the class. Oh also, take this test. It tells us how smart you are."
Freshman beginning of school: "Hello my name is Mrs. Herman. Oh you had to read 10 books? I knew nothing about it. Just forget about it. How many of you actually finished it? Oh 3 of you. Well lets move on." No one is kicked out.
Lesson 1: LIES
The reason, though, I say I'm not really passionate about or find it worth fighting for is because I have done all the summer assignments asked of me. I have done them even though I hate them and don't agree with them. I mumble and grumble and then use my summer for school work that never seems to end. Some days I don't even know why.
Hopefully you will understand that I have been looking for something that I can say, "I feel this is extremely important. We should do something about it and I am." Maybe I'll find it this summer or tomorrow. Each experience, hopefully, will bring me closer. As for now though I am a traveler trying to find a place called home.

Gay=Happy=Homosexual=Fruity=Uncool

That's gay!
What could they mean?! Once upon a time gay meant you were happy and some girls were named Gay; now if I were to say I'm gay, then I'm a homosexual and no parent in there right mind would name their kid Gay anymore. Why? Because the meaning of the word has changed over time. It is now new lingo for that is not cool, homosexual, and altogether different, but unacceptable. Gay kind of goes along with fruity. When did fruity ever mean homo? What is this world coming to?
"Man this song sounds fruity."
"Yeah, I know it sounds so gay."
Have you ever heard or said something similar? Well, I'm not going to lie. I have said things along these lines. They mean the songs sounds lame, not cool, odd. Back in to day, people wouldn't even know what you were talking about if you said a song sounded fruity and if you said it sounded gay, it sounded happy.
So I was thinking how in the world did this happen anyways? I was thinking maybe the first person who started this had a group of friends like me where they have codewords for other words. Like for example, I would be talking to Emma on the phone about a boy and I didn't want my mother to understand so I would refer to him as Stacey. Or how some of my friends decided to use derivative as a code word for something else so that Vidal didn't know they weren't doing the math. So I decided I better do a little research since these didn't quite fit in.
It seems to be unsure of when it really changed, but a lot seem to agree it gained fire around the 60's and 70's. Homosexuals began referring themselves as gay. Even brothels were refereed as gay houses. Fruity seems to have come around the same time too. Sometimes I'll never really get people though it seems. I just don't get how gay went from happy to homosexual to lame. But here is a site that can explain this mess a whole lot better than me. http://wiki.answers.com/Q/When_did_the_word_gay_start_to_mean_homosexual
I just got one last thing to say: It must really have sucked to be named Gay when the meaning changed.
"What is your name?"
"I'm Gay"
"That is random. But what is your name?"
"No, my name is Gay."
"OH"
AWKWARD SILENCE

Not Cho Mama's

Grilled Cheese Sandwich and French Fries. Sounds like a pretty flat description, but what if I gave them some character? How would I describe them?
Two slices of fake American cheese on buttered and crispy white bread thrown into a basket with another basket with an array of swirly looking fries. OK maybe I made it sound too good. It wasn't that great.
I decided to try to new place Not Cho Mama's up on the golf course and try one of their dishes hence a grilled cheese sandwich and French Fries. I was ready to try something new something exciting! But you see I have been vegetarian for the past couple weeks, 3, and decided to go to Not Cho Mama's and try something without meat which was like a diabetic in a candy shop. It just doesn't go very well. Yeah sure they'll have some sugar free candy, but that won't be the good stuff and it will be very slim pickings. I didn't know though. Everything was new and I wanted to try their dish of some sort.
It was quick service, but that isn't what I'm reviewing. The Grilled Cheese Sandwich: All foods are artwork, but just like famous paintings their are always fakes and copies. That is what this grilled cheese was like. There was no pazza! or anything to set it aside from other grilled cheese sandwiches. It was fake all around. Fake cheese, fake processed white bread, probable fake butter aka margin, inside a fake plastic red basket with a liner to keep that clean. But hey to give it a little credit, it was pretty cheap food and it did fill me up. So thinking about it and applying it to Patino's standards; what does this piece of artwork say? The theme is that America is getting fake and cheap.
We have fast foods with dollar menus and chips, soda, and candy is cheaper than a head of broccoli and whole wheat bread. We are lowering our standards in our lives by replacing real cheese with fake and adding American to make it seem like this new kind of cheese is aught to be better than everything else. And we settle with it because it is cheaper and money controls everything. I ate most of my meal too. Why? Not really cause I enjoyed it, but because I was paying for it.
My french fries were just ordinary as well. If you can eat and enjoy them without ketchup, ranch, etc, then you have some good fries. These ones I had to eat with ketchup because if not they tasted bland and flavorless. And you have to understand that I love French Fries and enjoy trying all the different kinds there are. So for me to say that these french fries are pretty bland is pretty reliable.
So what did I learn? Well, I knew food was art, but the meaning you could get out of it was new to me. Food has a lot to say. Whoever knew that America (the artist) was producing a whole lot of fakes and copies and few gems and priceless pieces of work. No get me wrong I love a lot of food and a lot of things, but Not Cho Mama's was right. There interpretation of a grilled cheese sandwich and fries is not my mama's interpretation. She cooks homemade fries and whole wheat with real cheese sandwiches. It just proves that nothing can be as good as your mama's cooking.

Hey Dad Can You Answer A Few Questions?

So I decided a long time ago that I would interview Kim Bishoff, my dad. But you know how things are, I had asked him moments before and decided that was best because then everything would be raw, fresh, and real. My dad grew up in a small town in Idaho and lived on a farm. He worked hard and payed for everything he has (his car, college, mission, etc.). That is why he is still so stingy with money. We still have a 22 year old Honda that technically I'm suppose to be driving. We still own the same fridge that we owned when I was born, but hey he is a good man. He has worked hard for where he is now and has learned a lot on the way. Casual seems to be his medium so I decided to do this interview in a casual setting, at home. Hope you enjoy!

1. Growing up what was your life's goal/ambition?
I wanted to be a baseball player.

2. Why is that?
I enjoyed it. I enjoyed watching it and playing it.

3. Why did you never pursue that?
Well you have to realize this is what I wanted to be when I was ten. As I got older and older I realized how competitive it was. In Idaho it was winter all the time and we couldn't really practice then and no one came to Idaho to recruit kids and then there was so much more to go through to get into after that.

4. Describe a time when you were scared to fail at accomplishing something that you were set out to do.
Well, I wanted to pass the CPA exam for accountants. And that is three days long. And if you don't pass one part then you don't pass the whole test and you have to start all over again. I remember studying really hard. I remember living in a hotel for three days with this guy and all we did was study study study.

5. How did that fear affect succeeding at that time?
It motivated us to study really hard. And for long periods of time and basically how to attack and because it is a huge, huge amount of knowledge you have to know. It motivated us.

6. So do you believe there is such a thing as good fear?
I think fear basically helps you to be motivated, but it can only do so for so long and eventually you have to move pass that and enjoy what you are doing or see progress. I don't think a lot of things are motivated by fear.

7. When you were trying to become an accountant was there ever a time when you wanted to give up or close to it?
Yes in school there was a time when I wasn't doing too good in a class. I didn't feel like I was succeeding, but I realized one test isn't going to determine if I will become an accountant. You have to keep things in perspective.

8. And in those moments of frustration what were you planning on doing if you were to quit school and goal of becoming an accountant?

I was going to be a truck driver.

9. Why a truck driver?

Because that is what I had already been. That is how I saved all my money to go to school.

10. Did you like doing that?

I loved it.

11. Do you wish you could be a truck driver now?

Some days.

12. What so great about the truck driver life?

You basically get to travel and uh drive down the road. Its a good life if you are single, but not married because you aren't ever home.

13. What is your measure of success?
Feeling good about what you are doing and being excited to do it when you wake up in the morning.

14. Have you ever had that in your life?
Yes, I have enjoyed almost every place I have worked.

15. How do you think the world works, and how do you think one goes about creating success in it?
I think the world works well first of all where you have to be prepared. You have to work hard and realize what end you are trying to achieve. And then start preparing in the beginning to get to the end. You have to work well with people. You have to realize it is a journey and there can be successes all along the way. When you have a family, when kids go to school, college, or when they get old enough to drive, get a good grade, reach a milestone, that is a success you share with them. So... I guess it kinda depends on what kind of success you are talking about, but for the most part it takes preparation and hard work and a little luck.

16. When you were my age what is one thing you didn't realize about the world that you know now?
How much your decisions and choices , when you are young, affect your whole life.

17. We have been talking a lot on goals and accomplishments in your past, but what are some goals you have now?
To get my kids raised and to help them get started with whatever they want in life. To help them become independent and self sufficient. My main goal is to make sure my family goes on and lives a happy functional life.

18. Do you have any regrets in life?
(Sits there and thinks for a while) Not really. Not too many.

19. In closing since my classmates will be the only ones if any to read this, if you had one thing to tell teens my age something, what would it be?
Stay away from drugs and alcohol.

So what did I learn: I wish I didn't record him or tell him I was recording him to just get the answers so I could write them down right. I think that changed the atmosphere and not exactly what I wanted. I learned some things about my dad. I feel a lot of the stuff I already knew though. I knew the CPA was a hard test for him, we had talked about it a couple of months ago. I knew he wanted his family to succeed. I also feel you don't get to really know my dad from this interview. There is something missing from him. Maybe I didn't ask the right questions at the right time or he just wasn't up for this interview. I guess the most surprising thing to me was the last question only because his answer was so off topic. They approach I wish I would have taken was to not tell him I was interviewing him, but just sit next to him and start asking as if I was just purely interested, then afterwards get his permission. Lesson learned I guess. Well hopefully you get something from this.

My personal philosophy was Open Your Mind and Experience Life. If you couldn't tell I drew and painted a peacock feather for the base of my collage. I chose a peacock feather because they to me are just such a exotic and unique animal with such beautiful striking colors. Also because the feathers look like eyes. So the purple and pink sticky notes have my goals on them. A lot of them deal with learning and experiencing new things. The green around has my attitudes, beliefs, and values. Just some of them are I value knowledge. I value experience. I value will power. I value difference. I value perspective. I'm open-minded, dilligent, non- confrontational, and independent. I believe in God. I believe that faliure is not an option. I believe we should see the good in the world. I believe in finding our own path.

All these really relate to my personal philosophy and who I am. I am always trying to progress and learn and become better. I'm always trying to make my time learning or doing something. Even when standing in line for recital I brought a book because I didn't want to be standing there wasting my time. I am always looking at a situation and saying, What can I learn from this? Often if there is no benifet for me to progress from the experience I don't want to waste my time on it.

Sometimes that makes me think I'm selfish. I look at everything and see what it can profit me. I have one cousin my age and I think we are about 15 days apart. I remember being mad because I really didn't have anyone to play with my age because he had down- syndrome. I remember thinking how it was unfair that the only cousin my age had to have that. I also remember being scared of him. I remember keeping my distance.

Open Your Mind has to do a lot with my love with knowledge and learning. I want to take everything in. And Experience Life has to do a lot with how I am always looking for life to be an experience for me to grow.

The Godfather

Immigration is just not a big deal right now. And crime is no new thing either. Immigrants and crime go far back to when U.S. was first established as a country and immigrants started moving in. What we refer to as crime was to them an only means to survive. Most immigrants started out in ghettos and factories working hard and trying to make ends meat, but sometimes that wasn't enough. They would resort to stealing food and what we call crime. In ghettos and such elaborate networks were created to help immigrants for favors in return. These were usually gangs or political machines that controlled the neighborhood and created a sense of unity. Even then, though, these gangs were not very different than from today. They sought for money, control, power, and were often corrupt. That is why the Corleone family in the Godfather hits so home with the United States now and then. It is part of our American history that was so evident and corrupt about our heritage.
In the Godfather the Corleone family is all about bartering loyalty and favors for favors and loyalty in return. Gangs today are the same; they expect respect and any sign of disloyalty and your gone. (This article describes a lot about gangs today and how they work on loyalty. http://www.gwcinc.com/Gang%20Info.html) In the Godfather it shows how hard it is to remove yourself from a gang especially when you are born into it. Micheal tries to escape this life of violence and crime, but it is like he can't escape. His father is shot and so he returns back home only to immerse himself back into the family deciding to be the one to kill the two in the restaurant. Then he becomes head and finishes and cleans business through blood. In doing this he also gains more power like owning the Casino and getting rid of threats. It is like the business runs through his blood.
Gangs today run along the same lines. They gain power and get rid of threats through blood. And all of them agree, "It was only business." I feel though there has been a shift in the kind of power gangs have today. Gangs throughout history had power with more political factors whereas now they seems to run along the lines of power in the drug business. They also have power over neighborhoods, but more of fear than loyalty.
The Godfather is an American movie of how some people actually lived in the United States. It shows the corruption the United States had. Today gangs are still part of the fabrics and fibers of the United States. Violence is still evident from gangs and still cause fear to rise within us. They are still big factors today.

The Blurred Lines Between Reality and Dreams

Here are two pictures I took. I was just messing around with the focus. Interpret what I wrote however you want. Would love to hear comments on what you think it means. But only I will the know the true meaning of it. Oh also I took these at a zoo. Pictures tie in with blog. On a side note I don't want you to think I'm depressing! I just liked this picture and thought this tied in.

I hate feeling I'm chained. I hate feeling I can't breathe without knowing he exists. I hate how my world revolves around him. I try not to bring up the memories that make me faint in rejoice of how I felt I was alive and knew that once he was gone I was dead. But I have let those memories ride around within my mind, heart, soul, my being. I played the forbidden nights of letting him hold those chains closer than ever. Of my whole being surrounded in blissful peace only to be shredded by millions of glass bits representing reality. Dreams can't last forever. You will soon have to wake up. I feel so much pain. I try to rid myself of these chains by trying to forget everything, but that is too hard. I try to alleviate the increasing scars on my wings from the dragons tongue licking my wounds. I try to ease my wings out of the ring of eternal torment by pulling it out slowly, but once I am almost free the king whips his words into my ears only making me lose my focus and cause the chains to be tighten back into place only for me to start again, start the hopeless fight against reality and dreams. I can never tell now which one is which and who is on my side to save me! I'm stripped feeling vulnerable, but I can't help loving it. He is going to make me stand there tied and see him steal my soul and beauty and change the shape into a golden cup which only he can drink out of, but chooses not to. I will watch him place his lips onto another wooden cup and smile enjoying the flavor while drinking a poison that only kills me, but gives him life. I tell myself I will be strong and live to tell this tale, but I feel I am getting weaker and weaker. Time only makes me weaker...

Dick Smallingtons Part 1

Have you ever been called mean, stupid, out of line, etc? Well how bout trying to act one? I find it isn't that hard to do. But you know when you have seen so many people that fit that description how hard can it get? Sides I wasn't in a really good mood anyways. I was working on Patino's research paper in those clothes, and was already frustrated. I didn't want to be in it, but they said it would only take 5 minutes. But you know 5 minutes easily turns into 3 hours. Helped me fit into the part. Anyways I know this movie is ridiculous, but hey, it pleased my brother and he is super excited about it. Give me some feedback on it for him so I can give him some pointers. Also there was quite a disagreement on this movie between my parents and my brother's friend. Not only did my dad want the bananas out, but hated the name of the video. Wonder Why? Obviously I wasn't too excited at all for this video too.

Live Life to the Fullest

Elise Andrea Bishoff died on November 1, 2070 at the age of 77. She lived a full life. She was born on March 10, 1993 in Kissimmee, Florida. She moved to Blythe with her family when she was a baby and grew up there. Shortly after graduating from Palo Verde High School she ran a marathon. Then she went to pursue her carrier at Brigham Young University. She enjoyed learning the adventures of being a poor college student and immersed herself around people with substance.



At the age of 21 she served a mission in Italy where she learned the language and also learned what work really was. She returned after a year and a half and finished her schooling. She graduated with a degree in English and minor in photography in the year 2017. After she graduated she backpacked parts of the world with her trusty camera and journal. At the age of 28 she returned back to the U.S. and married. She became to be an English teacher in destitute areas. She made a difference. She had 5 kids and is lived on by them. At the age of 35 she published her first book which became a hit.


She enjoyed life and all the it brought. She lived by "Live Life to the Fullest". And she did that in her own unique way. At times in her life she chased a tornado vowing never to do that again, but enjoyed the ride while it lasted. She went sky diving many times, she tried many new things whether it was food or adventure. At the end of her life she spent most of her time volunteering and being active in her church, as she always was throughout her life. She was always on the go. She will be remembered for the full life she lived and the most important thing: She will be remembered as someone who died happy with her life.